How to Flirt Online | Flirting Lessons

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Bantering with someone online is a great way to flirt -- if you know how to do it right. In this video, our relationship experts share tips on the best way to flirt online.

Rachel: Flirting online.

Hunt: Got to do it.

Rachel: It's an awesome forum.

Hunt: Exactly. A lot of people look at it as so odd or taboo. "Well I'm not going to go online." Why not? When one more place that you can meet somebody. And of course, you're going to run into the same share of interesting people, shall we say. But if you're not there, you're not going to meet anybody there.

Rachel: And that's the nice thing about, you know. There's different types of online flirtations. We can talk about email and Facebook and Twitter and online dating. In all of them, though, you have to remember that you're flirting just like you would in real life. And you have to say the right things and say it in good context. Because the biggest thing with any online flirtation is that it's typing. So, it's all black and white. There's no gray area. As opposed to in person where I can be, like, "I hate you." And it doesn't sound the same.

Hunt: Right. Yep. Sarcasm is so difficult to come across. Even a sense of humor. Because if I have a dry sense of humor and I put that down and they have a playful sense of humor, they're not going to read it in that way. So, as much as humor is good one on one, you have to be very careful when you're using it only in text. Because you're never sure how it's going to be.

Rachel: And also, the other thing with online flirtations is don't be so direct. You're going to find yourself "Okay so, I can't be sarcastic, I can't be funny. So what am I going to be? I'll just tell them 'Hey, you're hot.'" No, that doesn't work, either. There's a little nuance involved in online flirtation.

What I suggest people to do is find something to talk about that's not a sexual-related comment. So, if you see an online dating profile and you see she loves dogs, you're like "Hey, I just wanted to reach out. I love dogs, too. How old is yours?" Or if it's on Facebook, the same thing. You can take something that they talked about and use it to flirt with them.

Hunt: For guys, that's the biggest thing. When we're looking at people from Facebook and into online dating and anything. What's the first thing we do? And what's the sometimes the only thing we do? We look at the pictures.

So, they're so used to just "Oh, you look so hot. Oh, you're so pretty." Don't talk about that. Take a minute and read what they've taken the time to put down. And exactly, like you said, the easiest way, comment on something that they talk about in their profiles. The easiest way to let them know that you've read, you've spent more than 30 seconds looking at them. And it lets them know that you're interested, at least, a little bit, too.

Rachel: Exactly. There has to be some nugget of "I'm paying attention to what you have to say" moment. Because, like we've talked about, in real life, you can just go up and be like "Hi, my name is Rachel. So nice to meet you." You can't do that online. You have to put a little more effort into it. But you don't have to go over the top. I say two or three sentences should be the absolute max of an introduction to say "Hey, I saw your profile. I loved that you love Aruba." Or whatever it is that gives you something to tie it in, but make it something concrete instead of just "Hi, sexy."

Hunt: Right. And number two is a way to allow people to get to know you online. And so many people say like "What do you like? I like camping, canoeing and being outside." I can make lists, too. It doesn't tell you what there is, but if you say "I love the solitary ability to be outside and nature." Like, "Oh, I understand now why you like it." If you like sports, say, "I like the competitive nature. I like to always have that good-natured rivalry." Let them know so that people can comment on it and say "Oh, cool. I see you like this."

Rachel: Exactly. And that's the thing you have to keep in mind. Your profile or even your Facebook. If you're single and you're expecting to meet people on Facebook, what you put out there should be your initial flirtation with the public. So, it's got to give them a stepping point to talk to you.

Hunt: It's that image like we were talking to, too. It's how you want the world to perceive you. If you're a stranger looking at your things, take a look at yours again and make sure somebody would find you interesting. Somebody would find you someone that they'd want to approach in real life.

Rachel: Absolutely.

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